→ SUMMER 2011

Haven't updated this blog in awhile, I've wanted to a couple times but actually writing things up wasn't in my best interest. But anyways.. Summer's been really busy and tiring, not what a normal summer is described as, but I'm definitely enjoying it!

I've been spending my time doing a day camp at my church I've been doing my whole life and Summer school at Skyline which I wouldn't think I'd be doing ever, haha. Schedule for SDC is roughly 8-445, then night school 530-9ish. Working with kids from grades K to 2nd gets a little exhausting. Teaching math in the morning to activities in the afternoon I hardly have enough energy to stay awake in class. BUT, I'm able to wake up every morning (not necessarily on time ;]) and repeat this tiring process! Where this all comes from? I'm thanking God for it. For the opportunity to work with such great people and kids, and be able to help myself as well.

I've dedicated my time and effort to this 6 week camp, RE:NEW SDC. It's a ton of fun and the kids are something else... Having so many stories to tell, I couldn't even start. It'd bother me that I include one story but not the other, so I wont. Just know that it's amazing and filled with laughter and smiles every single day. The group of counselors that I work with everyday are great, I swear there isn't a dull lunch time with them. I would remember having such a terrible day or being in the worst mood and the smile and laugh produced by these young ones can flip my day around just like that. The kids! I have some trouble ones which I learned to patiently work with, some quiet ones which spawned to new crazy animals and just some CRAZILY CUTE ones. Nicknames are a must for me, "Chels-ski, Bri, Hails-ley" Seeing these kids everyday does NOT get old, it's the 5th week and if it was possible I wouldn't mind another month! This camp went by too quick, just like the saying "at a blink of an eye" I felt like I didn't grasp the opportunity as much as I wanted to..  Nevertheless, I can not speak bad about my past weeks involving the adorable, wild, cute Gummie Bears. Of course this road wasn't paved off to be perfect but it didn't stop us or me to keep striving to make the best camp for the kids. There was a time where I was mad at how things were going, how the kids were acting, how the counselors failed to do things and wanted to just stop. But how could I stop? When this is my job, to help these kids grow up to know God and become a good person. What kept me going were the kids, after all, it is for them. I'll miss these gummies...

Yet, not really.. I believe I myself have received a lot from this. It's brought me closer to a lot people at church that I've strayed away in the past years.. Re-attained old friendship while building a stronger foundation with others. Although I do not feel that my relationship with God has really changed for the better, I do know that God has a plan for me. May not be the right time, but it'll come. And from the retreat before SDC, I said I'll wait and not force anything. I believe God may be working through people with me, it's in His hands, so I won't stress.

Pictures, and an edit will be done soon! I'm tired, and gotta wake up at 7 tmrw, so this is my farewell! for now.

Aidan, the silent shy boy whom evolved!

Jonathan, the other twin! Such a cutie...

Oh you know, Jeslyn just posing!

On the carousel with Brandon.. OUMMMMMM!

Nathan... the kid who taught me patience!

Cutie Chloe!

→ GSW/M8 RANT

Honestly, Mark Jackson coming in might not have been the best idea the Warriors could have made. I much rather see Lawrence Frank as the coach since he focuses on defense. Anyways, trade talks about M8 is storming Yahoo! headlines and I for one, despise it. I’m definitely a Monta lover/fan, he takes over the game and provides such a thorough game from jump shots, spectacular drive ins, steals, to down dirty hustle plays. I understand Monta takes bad shots at times and is an undersized two guard but you lose much more than that if he’s traded. I don’t see Ellis lacking defense, it’s size, he is an undersized two guard facing opponents such as Kobe and Dwade. Monta has matured into a leader and the team has embraced his leadership. The team chemistry is great and mixing the starting 5 could mess up the chem. I can’t imagine anyone else having the ball at crunch time and taking over the game besides Ellis, no one who we’re potentially looking at can take over the came like Monta.
I don’t believe the problem is Monta for the Warriors, it’s the 1. Coaching (which we sort of, hopefully, fixed) 2. The lack of a true center 3. A bench that can show up night in and night out. If we are able to pick up a decent center during this year’s draft (which doesn’t seem too likely) we could be a lot better. Couple weeks after the end of the season, I read an article on Biedrin’s building his confidence rather than basketball skills during the off season. Andris….. I had high hopes for a comeback last year, but he hasn’t shown up for me. If he can play like he did before his injury, we’d have a better shot at “something”.. Third, the bench: We need more depth in the rotation, I wouldn’t mind wiping off half the bench and picking up new players. I could live without a lot of them due to their lack of consistency and just straight up scrub-ness. I don’t wholesomely blame the bench players for their inconsistency, Keith Smart was blind and could not utilize his players. Our starters player 40+ minutes throughout the whole season when Smart could have played our bench. Smart put out line ups where no offense could possibly be ran, we looked bad. No disrespect, I think Smart was a great and genuine guy but not a great Head Coach.
With that said, I’m hoping for roster changes in our bench and the center position. The Iggy for Monta trade is fair, but I’m not a big fan of Iggy. His shot and offense isn’t consistent which means he will not be the primary guy to go to. His size and length will benefit us for defense but I much prefer Monta.
Excited for next season, let’s try to aim for playoffs… I just want the Warriors wearing the “WE BELIEVE” tee’s instead of Memphis.

→ RETREATING, RETREATED

Past few days I've been in Lake Tahoe with a group of counselors from my church's day camp that I'll be working for during the summer. This retreat came to me as a surprise since I found out last minute that I'll be leaving for 3 days to a cabin. With that said, I normally enjoy retreats but don't necessarily get anything from them (which is my fault since I don't follow through). Going into this retreat, I had no expectations except a delicious buffet and to joke around like I normally do. So I guess you can say with little expectation, my expectations were met and exceeded, I had a blast. The atmosphere was amazing, everyone was smiling and enjoying their getaway as much as possible...... TOGETHER. The chemistry of each group and the whole staff seemed to be clicking in different ways such as being serious with work/God but being able to crack jokes together. I learned how to play Monopoly Deal and did 3am pranks which were the reasons of being sleep deprived. 

I think more importantly were the conversations I had during this retreat. Yes, I laughed constantly but the conversations MADE the retreat for me. I contemplated a lot about my spiritual life and relationship with my Father. Struggling together, my brother Erick and I talked to each other about our perspectives on praying, reading the bible and temptations. Being so similar to each other, we shared similar outlooks and questions and felt the need to attain answers. Sadly we did not turn to God for answers, rather to someone who I feel is an angel sent by God to guide me and my life.... Allan. My mind was stuck on this question I had for myself which was "What happens when I doubt more than I trust?" And this question could possibly summarize my current spiritual life. I'm having more doubts then faith, it's not something I'm proud of but more of an obstacle I'm struggling with. I doubt myself with doing the "spiritual" ish as well as doubting the possibly of getting into heaven because of these such deeds. I came to Allan for answers and assistance, and our talk helped a lot. 

With my lifestyle and values, I didn't feel guilty because of what Allan said. I asked him was it wrong to not do the "church stuff" and told him the fact that even if I tried I'd probably wouldn't be able to do it. He told me it's not wrong and that God is not looking for deeds instead the key to heaven's gate revolves around the genuine relationship you have with God. I then thought, well I do feel I have a real relationship with God but maybe it's not genuine since if it was, I'd be WANTING to read the word and praying daily. So that was my problem but I knew I wouldn't be doing the "church stuff" since I had no motivation and just wasn't my priority. Every time I read the Bible I feel like I know the material already since I've been in church my whole life being spoon fed bible verses, parables, and ideas. So due to the repetitive scene I got tired and bored, but Allan helped me realize that I haven't really experienced anything. Ultimately he didn't force me to read the Bible but instead advised me to just relax and allow the time to come for me to experience Him. I felt at ease knowing God does not totally push me away despite the lifestyle I live, rather waits on me and when the time comes He'll embrace me. I wondered why Allan told me to just live life instead of pushing me to do something about my spiritual life if I realized that something was wrong. I came to the conclusion that if I really want a relationship with God, I'd pursue it myself; but to force a relationship with Him it wouldn't be sincere nor genuine. With that said, I guess all I can say is I won't be forcing something that's not there, I'll simply wait until the time comes.

→ AT

Approximately a week ago I received one of the most heart-warming emails I've ever got. I did not expect this at all but it was from one of the few people I can really call my best friend, Andrew. The email was great and addressed a lot of things that I took for granted like our friendship. He told be about his troubles and how glad he was to have me, and it was just amazing because it wasn't something I hear from him on the daily. I probably see him once every month or so but for him to still think we're as strong as before, helped ease my guilt for not really trying to keep up in his life. He told me I was his motivation for school, but in reality, he was my support/encouragement to do be studious and do well in school as we both told each other back in high school how hard we really must work to succeed. At this point in my life, I'm glad I have a friend I can really see being part of my wedding. I'm not quite sure how many people I can say this about; Yes I have a great group of friends but will they be there til my special day? I know he will. He reminded me... "Please know whatever you're pursuing in life, i'll be there as supportive motivation. I am content with our connection, definitely a brother like. No matter what we face in life, my intuitive way of looking at our relationship, simply; nothing will brake it. Thank you, man, thank you. " It's just amazing, I can't wait to see him every day of the summer.

→ REAL

And when you thought you knew someone you called a "close friend" everything seems to be questioned when you find out the lies that have been told. Being so genuine to the person and thinking the same realness was reciprocated wasn't the case, in fact, the other person has actually been keeping away more things than you thought. I've been pretty selective on the people I've "chose" to be close with and to find out that a person I trusted and cared for has been telling me things that weren't necessarily true, sucks. I've always been real to people, I have no idea why a close friend would feel the need to keep secrets and say something else. A stranger I'd be more understanding of. I understand a person isn't going to spill their whole life to me, but why lie or give me half of what I give you. I didn't know being genuine was such a hard thing to do, I guess I was blessed with that trait. What I'm asking for is.. Just be real to me, I don't need to hear some excuse lie, just give it to me as it is...