→ CAN I LIVE?

I can not wait until I'm able to transfer out of Skyline, more importantly, get out of the city. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the city of San Francisco and I can not see myself living anywhere else but I just need a change in environment. This change I hope for, will help me experience the world and just live life and learn.

In San Francisco, it's lovely; all my friends are here, I'm familiar with places, and I have a loving family, but the problem is (as bad as it sounds) they care way too much. I wouldn't want them to care any less but I'm living under so many restrictions where I feel like I can't enjoy myself without the thought of my mom worrying or being mad if I come home late. And when I say late, it not even that late... I understand my past wasn't the best but I've been doing so much better in numerous areas in my life that I feel they should understand enough to let me just go out. I've stopped smoking, I've been more than on top of my education and spending time with the family is a routine. I'm overall a decent child. Can I live?

Honestly, I'm not doing anything wrong and I simply want to be with my friends. There's nothing wrong with that, being around friends is a retreat from the school stress that comes along with expectations my parent set. I focus on school enough, I need time to ease out and just relax. I've come to mature and see things in different perspective. I understand that I'm still young, there's bad people out there, and that she's still on the fence about the whole marijuana issue but I'm strong willed with a level head so I know better. I know what's good for me and what I can handle, I'm alright Mom. I'm smart and determined to be successful but now, I just need to live a little, that's all I'm asking for..

I'm such a family oriented person, where I eat dinner with my family every night and have weekend brunches. I joke around all day with them, and the bond is there since it's pretty much us 4 that we have. Why is it that you can't let me do my thing for one night? You know I'm still the same person, and will pick family over anything. I'm not going to turn bad, I will be the same respectful person I've grown up to be. You've raised me wonderfully, but I think it's time for you to let go and just see how I'll do in life. I'm not even asking you to let go of me completely, I just need a little room to breathe. Can I live?

→ CHECK OFF

As the 2011 Spring Semester comes to an end, I'm stressing my a** off... I wasn't fully aware of how fast the semester came and gone, first day of class... then BAM, I'm thinking about Finals. My hands are going to be filled and breathing won't be as easy for the next month but I know for a fact I can do this. Research papers pose a problem for me, so I'm going to have to spend more time on them. With that and the million other assignments/tests I have, it feels that there is not sufficient time in a day... I can not wait until this is all over with, but summer won't be the easiest or chillest. I do hope it'll be filled with memories but my plans to do SDC and night summer school will occupy most of my time. Currently, I am overwhelmed with what I have ahead of me but as I check off this list, I hope my burden weighs less. This check off list isn't exaggerated nor is it all, just a jist of what I need to do. I'm looking forward to days where I can simply relax and lie down and breathe... I'm growing up, expectations and life seems to get more serious, so messing around isn't an option though I wish it was.

→ JAMIE ZHU

Jamie is such a cutie, I finally got to meet her. Took awhile since both parties were busy but I was so happy that day! It was only Stanley with her and I got a call later from Karen that it was the first time it was just Stanley and Jamie. She got freaked out because he missed her call, I found that soooo funny/cute. I'm so proud of both of them.. All that happened in the relationship, and in the end they're both happy, it's amazing. And more importantly blessed with an adorable healthy baby. She makes the cutest noise, and when I stood her up that was when she started smiling A LOT! But I couldn't take a picture since I had to hold her! Sall yellow though.. I can't wait to see her grow up, I'm definitely going to try to help them out in whatever way I can. Freaking family. One Love.

→ 419

you're consistent with your inconsistency..

→ PAST MUSIC SET 4

Jim Jones - Perfect Day ft. Juelz Satana
Lil Wayne - Something You Forgot

Kid CuDi - Dat New New
J. Cole - Getaway

→ 04/11/11

First day back from Spring Break I get overwhelmed with midterms, test, and research papers coming up faster than I thought.. Reading and studying is going to be a big part of me these next few weeks, and it's going to suck.

I had an appointment with my counselor Nate Navado @ 10:30, it was much needed... My head was filled with questions about school, the future, units, summer school, and scholarships. I procrastinated in scheduling this appointment but I'm glad I got to do it before it was too late. Anyways, I realized the likelihood of me transferring out in 2 years isn't too great. That was my goal but now it's disappointing.. I'm going to really try harder and pass/get all my classes in order to get out of Skyline asap. I might be able to get out in after Summer 2012, but that is if I'm still interested in the Business Management field.. I'm excited for next Fall's classes since I'll be close to finishing up my GE's and starting some of my major's pre-reqs.. Until then, I have to finish up what I have in front of me.

Worrying about the future is something I can't help but do, I'm not the best in anything so I worry about not succeeding... I want to live a life that is simple, I want a family, a nice simple house, 2 cars but without any problems and stress dealing with money. Money is the root of all evil, but it simply makes life easier... Well when you have it at least. I worry about not being able to get a decent job, I worry about not making enough money, I worry about not being able to support my future family, I worry about being in debt, I worry about not making my parents proud... Yes, money isn't everything, but it is something. And I would be fronting if I said it doesn't matter to me, in all honesty.. Money is something that I hate, but would love to have.

In this world we are working for satisfaction right? Or is it money... What are we getting an education for? In the end it's all about getting a good job for what? Money, money money. I feel like we are living for money, this is how our generation works. Everything around us is about money, riches, wealth, materialistic things... How can I not care about money? It's about happiness, and materialistic things is a big part of happiness, but what gets a nice car, a big house, brand name attire? It's money, money creates happiness... As bad as it seems, man, it's the truth. And without it, it's hard to be happy. This mindset I have is bad, I acknowledge that but if someone can teach me to believe in another outlook on happiness I'd be glad to listen. Our society is revolved around money, it's the center of attention, the more you have the better you seem to be in our world.

→ YES

Finally pulled the trigger to get these!

→

Honestly, how could you forget? It was an annual thing, and it was so important... to me at least. Questioning so much now.

→ APPRECIATION

(picture from 09')

My brother Erick Chang, this amazing person is the only person who truly understands what's going on in my life right now. Our situation seems to be near identical and talking to him, everything seems to just click. Thank you for all the motivation texts, and all the talks.. I can always count on you, you are the person that I know will have my back and that really cares. Though I have never expressed these thoughts with you, I truly feel that you are a funny, wonderful, and thoughtful person. You've made things so much easier for me, and I'm glad we've gotten closer throughout the years we've known each other. I can't express the gratitude I have towards you my brother... Just, thank you.


Also, my "go to buddy"... I'm glad you're not annoyed with all my problems, thanks so much for being the person I can vent to. We've grown to know each other pretty darn well, and I hope you know I do cherish our friendship a lot. Although there are periodic breaks, I'm glad we both can update each other and feel like nothing happened. And all the jokes I make, I don't mean them! Kind of ish... =)