It's been awhile since I've posted, but I'm glad I'm here typing my thoughts out. Things in life have been in a constant move. I would say I'm busy, but I know people have it worse. I've been boggling thoughts of summer events, future school plans, while maintaining my grades.
Getting rejected to the two schools that were on top of my list felt terrible, my heart dropped once I placed my eyes on the word "DECLINE" in size 72 big bold letters, well.. at least in my eyes. Visiting the school's site every hour to hope that I'd see my hard work in community college pay out did not happen. I thought I had everything in control, I knew where I wanted to go, I knew what I wanted to get into. I just needed to get into SDSU, but that was not the case. I did not budge once after reading that one word, my heart dropped more than one time that hour. I'd realize that I would not be attending the school I had my eyes on and it'd hit me all over again.
My mind was all over the place: What would I do now? Stay another year? How about budget cuts, would it be harder to get in next year? Would I wait on other schools, settle for less than what I had wanted? How would my parents feel, did I fail them? Did I not work hard enough? Could I really take another year of community college? Did I set too high of an expectation for myself? Did I take too many classes, should I have taken my time? Why did I take useless classes? Would I get in if I appeal? Damn...... Why?
I was just so overwhelmed and feelings of regret came upon me. There were more questions than answers at this point and I couldn't feel happy. I was unstable. My second favored school rejected me and I was crushed, I had to deal with this.
My parents knew I was eager to get in San Diego State, but through it all they stayed supportive. The two people who pushed me to do well in school saw me fail. They told me it was okay. Their support helped me get over it but it didn't satisfy my need my want my desire to make them proud. I was frustrated.
In the end of all the questioning and searching, things panned out. I got accepted into Cal Poly Pomona which I researched to be a premier school for Hospitality Management ranked next to UNLV as well as Cornell. I couldn't be more happy to find a better school for my major.
Now I am currently planning to visit the school and finally make my decision. Planning my trip to SoCal was exciting and I can't wait to go down to visit the school and enjoy my time there.
I want to succeed, badly.
