→ DEATH

Death. Death is something I am afraid of. Death I could not explain very much about. This topic actually came from a tumblr post about a teenage girl dying from a car accident. I searched her up and saw a couple YouTube videos of how awesome of a girl she was, though amateur videos, they had a good cause and very much touched the viewers.

I realize myself, I have not gone through the pain of knowing someone dearly to me passing away. Occasional thoughts of one of my family members leaving brings me to tears. The actual occurrence of this will devastate me and I'm just not sure how I will handle it. Death is inevitable and I believe one can not prepare for the emotional distraught it brings when a love one leaves. I fear the pain that comes along it and I can't imagine how broken down I'd be. I guess I've been blessed to not have someone close to me pass away, but when the time comes, what will I do? What is there to do?

This thought urges me to cherish the people I have around, but there's so much a person can do. There is never enough to say to a person, to make sure you have said all of the right last words. Death is so sudden, if you think about it, it can happen at any moment and that's the scary thing. Nobody can prevent death, in a sense, death controls us. My Christian side of me would say God takes care of anything, but at times, I question and I lose faith in what really is true. I just hope I don't lose complete faith in my Creator.

Especially in this generation, our world is filled with evil. There are people who are completely messed up in the head whom value nothing. These are the people who I fear, those who have no morals, no purpose, and who don't value life. To whoever may stumbled upon this place, I urge you to keep peace and love one another, do something nice, who knows what a smile, greeting, compliment can do....






"And I will fear no evil, For my God is with me, And if my God is with me,Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go, Through the calm and through the storm. Oh no, You never let go, In every high and every low. Oh no, You never let go ,Lord, You never let go of me"

Matt Redman - You Never Let Go 

→ BOY MEETS WORLD

 

Been watching Boy Meets World for the past couple weeks on YouTube and reliving such a great part of my childhood. Re-watching it, I'm now aware of the morals and values that are taught in almost every single episodes; whether it is friendship, respect, or simply to keep striving to be your absolute best. Each character plays a significant roll in the show: Mr. Fuhh fuhh FEENY not only is a teacher but a life mentor, Shawn being a trouble maker but still a genuine best friend, and Topanga an example of true love. The show relates ourselves to Cory, who is a average kid just like me and you, who goes through obstacles which knocks him down. But he is not alone, alongside Cory is his family and friends every step of the way. And can I just say? Cory's parents (especially the father) are examples of good parenting. I enjoy every bit of this show because it's just a classic, you enjoy and laugh, but you still realize how important school, friends, and life is. We don't see many shows in this generation that venture out to teach viewers how to respect people or go walk down the right path, it's all about ratings now. There's so much to say, but basically... I am in love with Boy Meets World!

→ WINDING DOWN

Deadline for the TAG program is coming down, and these past few days, I've been finding a lot of information that isn't making my chances of transferring out likely...

Problem 1... Heard you have to fulfill all your major pre-reqs by Spring 2012; but in my case I have to take Calc 2 in the Summer 2012 

Problem 2... I totaled at 26 credits by Summer 2011, but the requirement is 30. I didn't know Trig wasn't UC transferable. Although I am capable of getting 60 credits by the end of Spring 2012

Problem 3... There aren't much Business Administration majors for UC's, only Riverside and Irvine have this exact major, I'm now looking at Business Economics... But I really determined to get into UCI for Business Administration

Problem 4... Something I'm really not proud of, my UC transferable classes accumulative grade is a 2.96, sigh.

Problem 5... I'm hoping I can transfer out regularly if I'm not eligible for TAG, time to strive harder than ever.

And what frustrates me the most is that my counselor said everything would be fine, and that I'm doing just fine. I have an appointment with him in two days, and the application is due on the 30th. I hope everything is settled by my appointment so I can really see what my future holds. It's so hard to deal with this, I feel lost and confused, and I wish I wasn't...

This is my life, my future, and not having total assurance on something so important isn't the best feeling and is completely bothering me. What can I do, who can I turn to. Whoever I talk to won't solve my problems, so as of now, I'm counting on myself to get things done...

I want to breathe..

→ FRUSTRATION

Here's my rant, prepare for my annoying complaints... To whoever reading, you can stop here.

Where to start, I guess, with what is occupying the majority of my life: School. My everyday routine consists of hours of school, and hours of school work which totals at A LOT OF hours.. I've zeroed in on my goals, and I'm determined to finish Skyline in exactly 2 years total. One big wall is stopping, and this "wall" is the transfer program (TAG) that pretty much guarantees me a spot in the UC I desire. BUT, the TAG program changed their rules which says a person can only tag onto one school (previous years, as many as you wanted) AND most of all, UCI excluded my major. So now I'm totally frustrated with what my future beholds, and things are just complicated.... The only thing I can do is, do even better in school so I can apply to UCI without tag and get in....

I became anti-social with focusing on my school work, but if you see my goals and where I'm headed, you should understand.

Other than school, nothings been up. Doing my own things here and there, but I'm satisfied. Simple person, living in a simple life. Not much to explain. Boring to you? Possibly, to me? Nope.

→ FOUR BROTHERS

4 Brothers… Despite the different lives we live and the age difference, we still honestly care and love each other no matter what comes our way. The past was the best, but even though we aren’t together everyday like how it was before, the time we do spend with each other brings us back like nothing has changed. I love these guys so much, and they’ve been in my life for a majority of it. (Dfang since ‘98 / Steez since ‘01 / Midget since ‘05) The time, how long they’ve been there for me isn’t even something I’m proud of, it’s the impact that they’ve had on me.

These are my childhood buddies, and it’s gratifying to know it’s not merely that.. there is more to it, there are MORE memories to come.. Growing up, I was always the youngest and I would just remember admiring these brothers of mine. Sometimes for the wrong reason, but hey, they were cool to me. I remember being in the shoe hype with them, co jps, “jays” and going down to DT just for the heck of it. I remember just causing trouble during whatever fellowship or retreat we had, or to lounge around during those events excluding everyone else because we were simply having fun needing no interruptions. I remember going over to Steez house to play Counter Strike, awp map every 5 deaths. Then we all were in the same HS, me as a freshmen, stanley as a soph, donald as a junior, and erick who was hardly around as a senior. A whole family at school, I felt secured with them.

4Brothers <3